“The exercise consisted of putting 5 cubes with alfalfa. Each cube represented a virtue and the horse symbolized my worst defect.
My purpose was to defend my virtues against the push of my main defect, negativity.
The negativity has been directed first to my intelligence, which I have managed to protect. Then he has faced my will and I have also defended it. And then he tried my sociability as well, managing to reach out and eat from the bucket.
Defeated, I ended up leaving the circle, abandoning all my virtues, to leave only with my negativity.
My conclusion: that negativity only defeats me when I feed it.”
AnonymousFeeding negativity (An exercise in PAE: Equine Assisted Psychotherapy)
“In the morning, at eight, I did a yoga session. This beginning the morning exercising is one of the best habits that I have acquired in CITA. You face the morning with a better mood and with more satisfaction.
In the morning, I attended the workshop with Marta on body language. Afterward, she played social therapy with Andrea. After lunch, I had an interview with Santi. Very interesting, as always.
We have dealt with the theme of the ideal, of self-demand, of my satiety, and of my alcoholism ... They are different themes that I tend to mix. And this is a mistake. My satiety came from my lack of desire and this led to my alcoholism. The ideal and self-demand are something deeper, something learned. Both things make me focus on my disabilities, refusing to highlight everything I do well. And this frustrates me. It is impossible to get to all things. You have to assume it and be warned, because my way of being always leads me to this state. You have to try to do things well, but not punish yourself for what you do not do well. Nobody does everything right. I take this above all to the areas that matter most to me in life: my family and my work. In the case of the family, I start a competition with my wife to see who does better at home. At work, I seek customer satisfaction, even on issues that have nothing to do with me. And you have to be attentive to these mechanisms.
I have also had therapy with Xelo. The subject dealt with has been that of guilt. The guilt I feel has to do mainly with the children. That they have seen me drunk and that I have driven drunk with them in the car is what really bothers my conscience and what weighs on me the most. Guilt can also appear as a feeling of betrayal of my principles; for example, in the feeling of having betrayed my idea of being a father by putting myself and putting them at risk while driving. According to Xelo, now I can become aware of these things because I have time to think, I don't drink, and I connect my thoughts with my emotions. Previously it didn't and it worked like an automaton.”
AnónimoLearn to connect my thoughts with my emotions
“I entered CITA not only because of my addiction to alcohol but also because of a suicide attempt. Over time and various therapies, I have come to the conclusion that my problem is not alcohol but my personality, not knowing how to say no at the appropriate time, among other things.
All the workshops at the center have helped me a lot, especially to strengthen my character, but one of them, the PAE, has helped me to know how I am, my weaknesses and the ties with my family; He has taken things from me that he didn't even remember and has allowed me to see myself as I am: a sensitive, good and hard-working woman, who gives a lot and sometimes doesn't get enough. Thank you Chelo and thank you Luís for helping me to be the way I am now; now I am aware of the things that I have to rectify and that I have to be stronger.”
AnónimoLearn to say no
“I came to CITA both embarrassed and relieved. Although in a ritual way and in almost always moderate consumption of cocaine - if this is not a contradiction in terms - it had already been used for many years. The last years were consumption shared with my wife (although she with less compulsion), always at home and in a discreet way.
And what disrupted this dynamic and led me to a center so far from my family? Many things: responsibility (our children grow up and I do not know with what moral authority we are going to tell them not to do what their parents do), boredom (what at first had the flavor of the forbidden now has the bitterness of a servitude that causes fatigue and sadness), money (sometimes I have calculated the money consumed in this vicious and empty circle), health (I no longer feel immortal), and also lies (I had been consuming for a year behind my partner's back). The worst thing, after making the decision and realizing that I could not leave it if I had only my own strength, was to communicate it to the family.
At CITA I learned to be able to distance myself from my problem, to reflect and learn from others (from those who succeeded and from those who relapsed and tried again). Now, I count the months that I have not used and I wait for the day when I can lose this account.”
AnonymousAshamed and relieved
